February 2017 Favorites
Honestly, only really just this month am I beginning to feel like I'm living a life that isn't always on panic mode. No pregnancies, no new babies, no surgeries, no moves, no new schools, no new employees, no major upheavals in any department of my life, for the first time in years. Is this what 30-something feels like? Is this that settled life I see so many people drifting along in? For so long, I feel like I've jumped into life in a moment of passion, eager to see and go and do and be and make...and I've been swimming ever since, never able to climb back up into a boat, never wanting or needing to. I love it here in the water, splashing around, swimming with the fish, taking risks and making dreams come true. But man, after awhile, it is exhausting. Now that we're settled into a place we're going to be treading for awhile, I'm starting to notice the same boats around me, and the people drifting around easily in them, chatting with each other. Could I climb into one, too? To float through life, over it all? Kind of back in the secure place I knew as a kid? Before things went crazy and I went off on my own and made it in this world? To create a boat for the kids in my life? Until now, we've been swimming with them on our backs. Could school really be the end of the adventurous years? Or is it just a hiatus? Something tells me that once you get that spark, that urge to live with less, to go farther, to explore...that you never really lose it. I wonder if it's something you're born with. I've always felt like I had this thing I can't really describe where all of life is just more exciting to me than I think most people find it. I'm not sure I understand why I feel this way, but once you do, there's a magic everywhere. I'm wondering if a more settled pace will dissolve the magic for me. Will it? Only time will tell. I guess that's one reason I shoot...when I feel that sparkle, those things that make me excited - I take pictures of them, so I don't forget. And when I look back on all these photos I took this month, I realize, maybe it's something you're born with, or maybe it's acquired, but I don't think you can ever lose the spark, deep down. There's always, always magic. You just have to believe in your own.