Hawaii Day 13: Sweet Nothingness
I think sometimes when you're on a big vacation that you've saved up for and looked forward to for a long time, there's the temptation to feel like you need to be making the most of every single day. But the reality is, for every breath you breathe out, you need to breathe in. Today was a breathing in day.
I think creativity works like that, too. Right now I'm shooting and editing and sharing a ton, because I feel inspired by everything around me. But I don't shoot this much at home, and that's OK! Some days I don't even pick up the camera -- there are days we just need to run a bunch of errands, or the baby never naps and it's an off-day, or we're seeing family or going to a social function (I never bring my camera to social functions). Or maybe we're at the pool (I cannot be safe with three non-swimming little ones at the pool while shooting. I don't even bother. I also feel uneasy leaving my camera unattended while being so all-in just trying to get everyone not to drown while still having fun and wearing sunscreen and staying hydrated and I feel like I need a nap just typing about it all. My point is this -- even things that are flowing wells need time to well back up once you've drawn so heavily on them.
If you don't, you risk having a dry well.
And to some extent, that has happened to me a bit. I've become so enamored with shooting everything that makes me happy (and this is a very happy and busy time of life), I've ended up creating a giant, stressful backlog of work to catch up on. So I managed to turn something I love into what can feel like a chore some times. So I step back and take care of my family first, and live life, and let creating come in its own due time. And I'm learning to live with that.
I once read that executives have somewhere on the order of 1,000 hours of work they *could* be doing, feel they need to do, or eventually will do. I think when you have a job without time borders, like the semester end we had in school -- there's a continuity and buildup of need-to's over time, and we never flush them out and have a hard time letting go. I think all you can do is just prioritize, and do your best. Work that is truly compelling and important to me will still be valuable when I get to it. Right now I'm all-hands-on-deck raising these little ones. So if the blog is late, or the photos never get seen because I'm too shy to share something obviously 2 years old, well, then, that's OK.
I once had a teacher tell me my perfectionist tendencies made me "always a day late and a dollar short." But you know what I say? Better late than never. And that great accomplishments have no fear of time. And for me, the greatest accomplishment isn't producing content for the internet or Instagram, but for my family (and for myself, when I'm losing my memory because I never got enough sleep!)
So today we rested. Hot tub, wine with lunch, and ice cream for dinner.
This is what I saw.